Supporting Your Child’s Next Chapter While Embracing the Empty Nest

Among the most bittersweet moments in the life of any parent is the point at which children move out of the family home. They might be heading off to study, going on a gap year, or simply finding a place of their own – perhaps in the company of a partner.

You might be experiencing a range of emotions. You might be sad that they’re leaving, and yet happy that they’re growing and flourishing without you. On the other hand, you might be looking forward to converting the extra space into a home gymnasium.

You might also be keen to support them in any way you can. But exactly what are the best ways of doing this?

Help Them Research Global Opportunities Early

Heading overseas to work or study can be fantastic for young people. The experience will expose them to new ways of thinking and working, and provide them with insights that might be invaluable as they progress through life.

When it comes to overseas study, it’s worth starting your hunt for potential destinations early. Look to rank potential universities, and to make sure that they align with your child’s professed academic interests. There might be deadlines and open days to be aware of.

It’s important to give your children a say in their choice of university. Remember that you’re there in an advisory capacity: if you are too pushy, you risk fostering resentment.

Teach Financial Independence and Budgeting Skills

If you rely on the education system to impart basic financial skills, then you might be setting your child up for failure. The experience of moving away can be great for building these skills – but they’ll need a foundation to work from. Teach them about how to balance a budget, and how to deal with international banks and exchange rates. Make sure that they know how to look out for scams, and that they understand that you’ll support them financially in the case of an emergency. Setting up an online money transfer can make a big difference. Providing a safety net for if you need to intervene.

Of course, there are also fundamentals of savings and investment to look at. Encourage your child to set aside a portion of their earnings, and tell them all about compound interest.

Support Their Emotional and Practical Transition

It isn’t just parents who might be feeling emotional about a potential move. Anxiety and outright fear can be common among would-be movers. Make sure that you talk openly and honestly about the prospect of culture shock, stress, and homesickness. Schedule regular meetings via videoconferencing platforms like Zoom.

You can also drive down stress by helping them address the practical aspects of life overseas. Create a checklist, including insurance, healthcare, and accommodation costs. Resist the temptation to check up on their location constantly through a phone-based tracking app. This can be intrusive and potentially disrespectful.

Redefine Your Role as a Parent

For decades, you might have come to see your purpose in life as revolving around your children. But once they’ve moved out, it’s easy to feel at a loose end. Being an ‘empty nester’ comes with its benefits, however. It will give you more time to explore your own interests, and to find fulfilment in volunteering, learning, or travel.

Reconnect with your children at regular, agreed-upon intervals. But don’t pine for them, or regret their absence. If you’re struggling to process the transition, it can be useful to sit down and chat with other parents who are going through the same thing.

Invest in Long-Term Success—Not Just the Degree or Job

If your children are going to thrive in the long term, they’ll need to grow their skill sets and knowledge. This is a principle that extends beyond their formal education. Try to track down mentors and instil the right principles and habits into your children. You can do this before they leave, while still making yourself available for advice after they’ve gone.