Staying Strong Through Divorce: Wellness Strategies for You and Your Children

The challenges you face are significant when going through a divorce. In addition to managing legal and financial matters with your divorce lawyer, there is the pressing task of taking care of your mental and emotional well-being. The weight of these changes can be especially hard to bear if you have children, whose needs require just as much care as your own. While the road ahead may seem long, taking steps to maintain your health can ease your transition.

Acknowledge Your Emotions Without Suppressing Them

It’s easy to feel as though you need to be strong all the time during a divorce. After all, you may think that showing vulnerability will only add to the emotional toll of the situation. But ignoring your emotions won’t make them go away. They’ll simply build up, potentially leading to burnout or resentment. Instead of pushing aside feelings of sadness or anger, acknowledge them.

For example, if you feel upset after an argument or about a specific aspect of the divorce, allow yourself to sit with that discomfort. You might want to journal about it or talk to a trusted friend or therapist.

Practice Compassionate Communication, Even During Conflict

Divorce often comes with its fair share of disagreements, and you may feel the urge to retaliate during tense moments. However, how you communicate during this time will influence not only your relationship with your ex-spouse but also how your children experience the situation. Practising compassionate communication doesn’t mean avoiding tough conversations or sugarcoating the truth. It means being thoughtful about your words and their impact.

Create a Stable Routine for Yourself and Your Children

Children thrive on consistency, especially when their world feels uncertain. As you navigate the emotional upheaval of divorce, providing a stable, predictable routine can bring comfort to your children, helping them feel safe. While you may not be able to control all aspects of their lives, setting clear, regular schedules can make a big difference.

Lean on Your Support System

Divorce can be isolating, but you don’t need to go through it alone. Reach out to the people who care about you, like friends and family, and support groups. You should also consider speaking to a therapist. There are numerous benefits of divorce therapy for healing emotional wounds.

If you’re feeling unsure about your ability to cope, having someone to talk through your feelings with can help you gain perspective. For instance, if you’re overwhelmed by financial negotiations with your divorce lawyer, talking things through with a family member or friend can help you sort through your concerns. Just knowing that someone is there for you, ready to listen without judgment, can make a world of difference in how you manage your emotions and navigate challenges.

Prioritise Self-Care and Set Clear Personal Goals

Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant. Small acts of self-compassion replenish your energy and clear your mind. Here are a few simple self-care practices to boost your mental health and wellbeing:

• Take a 10–15 minute walk each day to clear your mind and release tension.
• Set aside time to read a book you enjoy, allowing yourself a moment of escape.
• Cook a nourishing meal for yourself, focusing on the experience of preparing and eating something you love.
• Try a daily 5-minute meditation or deep-breathing exercise to reduce anxiety.
• Schedule "me-time" regularly, even if it’s just a quiet cup of tea in the morning or evening.
• Practice journaling to express your thoughts and emotions, helping you process your feelings.

Setting personal goals gives you a sense of purpose and direction. For instance, you might aim to take 15 minutes each day to meditate or exercise, helping you feel grounded. These moments of self-nurturing contribute to your resilience and remind you that you’re still an individual with aspirations, separate from the challenges of divorce.

Although divorce is challenging, by focusing on your well-being, communicating with compassion, and maintaining stability, you can navigate the process with strength, setting a positive example for your children’s emotional development.